People at home, work, in the community or nation can be
competitive or collaborative, deceptive or authentic, abusive or empowering.
Well being of families, organizations and the world depends on how people relate.
You can contact me to schedule a private session for you or as a couple,
or a workshop for your group or organization. You can read
What People Have Said below the program descriptions.
Communication skills can make or break relationships – at home, in the workplace, community, nation and the world.
When you make an effort to improve communications, it can go from falling apart when conflict arises to peaceful, compassionate, meaningful, creative conversations.
We will understand and practice Transactional, Assertive, Compassionate and Creative Communication skills to help you have better relationships in your family, with co-workers, neighbors and friends.
Barns were raised by neighbors. It used to take a village to raise a child properly. Today, so much has been written about social media pulling people apart and inflaming social conflict and divisiveness, just when we need to work together to solve national and world problems.
With so much social divisiveness, conflict and personal trauma, learn why it is important, and how to be affirming, friendly and kind, in a wise way.
Learn the value of being friendly, giving people a chance, and being encouraging, positive, motivating and enthusiastic. Let your friendliness warm-up cool relationships to help people be more authentic, sincere, trusting and reliable.
With enough money, or social services, people may now feel they don't need neighbors anymore to help them. If that is true, is there any value in society of being affirming and friendly?
If you sense the answer is yes, that it is still important to be kind and friendly beyond the December holiday season, attend this conversation about the importance of being friendly in the home, workplace, community, and as a nation as a whole.
Would you like to be part of a weekly Community Conversation Club? It would be on a weekday or night. Join Sandy Hinden, author of 7 Keys to Love and facilitator of the Saturday Night Conversation Club in Huntington Village. Learn how he formed a conversation club four years ago to help people learn conversation skills, become less isolated, and be more social.
A recent study in Britain found 75% of people were not friendly with neighbors. We need to help people have skills of conviviality, friendliness and cordiality for people to feel wellness. Become part of the regular group. Attend when you can. Tell your friends. Make a friend. Enjoy life more with people in the community.
In your Conversation Club people enjoy thoughtful conversation on timeless topics and current events. Share your experiences, opinions, feelings, values and needs, and be listened to respectfully.
Welcome curiosity, wonder and a positive sense of humor as you discuss topics such as friendship, family, society, politics, relationships, sex, good luck, wealth care, health care, addictions, compassion, mindfulness, meditation, wisdom, humor, positivity, peace, science, ethics, the environment, technology, travel, creativity, the arts, motivation and more.
It is a great place to learn from each other’s knowledge and experience, share some humor and have some fun! In a time with deep divisions in the world, you can feel better when you relax and listen deeply to each other. Meet regularly for friendship, warmth, belonging, community, creativity, meaning and intellectual stimulation. Make friends and try to make sense of the world – one topic at a time!
I encourage you to start your own Community Conversation Club!! You can see more here...
In the last Harry Potter movie J.K. Rowling wrote, "Don't pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living and, above all, pity those without love." The Dalai Lama has said, "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive." Over 35 years, Sandy Hinden studied the many facets of love including: illusory love; self-love; friendly love; couple and romantic love; family, filial love, love for parents and the elderly; altruistic, platonic, community love; love for culture and nature; love for life and love for the world; and agape, cosmic, universal love for the source and the creation. He will read from his book 7 Keys to Love, share what he has learned about love, compassion and kindness, and answer questions you may have on one of life's great mysteries: Love.
People have the need to be in loving relationships. Right? Right! Built into all people is the capacity to enjoy sexual warmth and passion. Unfortunately, probably 90 percent of people are not in a healthy, loving relationship where they can enjoy sexual warmth and passion.
In a society that has 90 percent of adults without the capacity for healthy sexual expression, the market place is willing to fulfill peoples' sexual needs and urges for a fee. Prostitution is said to be the oldest profession. Today, we also have massage parlors with happy endings, strip clubs, and 24/7 pornography that generates more revenue than Hollywood.
Healthy, loving relationships are only sustainable based on the capacity to have compassionate communication that allows people to understand and express their feelings, needs, values and what they wish for, want and prefer. We don’t teach people how to communicate compassionately in schools, so teenagers become adults, and for the ones that get married, 50% of first, 60% of second, and 70% of third marriages fail.
So, why don’t we just face reality, and help young people learn to communicate compassionately? Schools have a responsibility to teach young people how to communicate. Let's talk about this openly. See more here...
Only 32 percent of employees in the U.S. are engaged in their work, with 51 percent unengaged and 17 percent actively disengaged. That means close to 70% of people don't like the work they are doing. It is very important for you to continue to try to understand your work-life, and how to improve it. I went through many career changes into different fields until I found something I liked to do and could do well. I learned much along the way and would be happy to share a process you can use to find work you can enjoy. The chart above is a 9 step process that can help you understand where you are now, and need to be in your career development process.
First we will increase your ability to enjoy yourself based on your being compassionate, forgiving, kind and loving with yourself, and taking good care of yourself each day.
Then we practice the basics of Compassionate Communication to help you understand your thoughts, feelings, values and needs.
We will practice understanding and setting healthy boundaries and limits, and keeping them.
If you want to practice this with a partner, we will then increase your ability to sustain a loving relationship based on self-love, self-care and Compassionate Communication. You will now understanding your the feelings, values and needs of your partner, make reasonable, respectful requests for what you would like and prefer, and consider if others’ requests are healthy for you.
This creates a world of inner peace, kindness and wellness for you to sustain healthy relationships with a partner, family and friends.
“It was an excellent and detailed presentation. The pages were so well outlined with clear and precise directions. I thought the give and take was excellent and a lot of people felt connected.”
Suffolk Community Council
“Thanks for a wonderful workshop experience. The conversations, the graphics and the handouts all worked to improve my sense of self and others, as we better learn how to communicate with peace and love in our hearts. The model of Parent-Adult-Child process is one I have experience with. Your synopsis was well taken, as is the notion of its importance in developing skill sets for improved personal and interpersonal communication and love.”
Setauket, New York
"Over a year ago, Sandy Hinden recommended that I read a book called 'Peaceful Living' by Mary McKenzie. Based on the teachings of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Non-Violent Communication, the book consists of 365 daily meditations on the vocabulary of feelings and needs, a sorely overlooked aspect of communication. Over the last year, I’ve come to realize that even though all human beings share the same needs, a new way of communicating is needed to connect with each other in moments of conflict. Many of the principles in the book are counter-intuitive and require serious practice, but speaking personally, the results have been transformative. I’ve noticed that my goals in communication have radically shifted, from “being right”, to understanding the psychological reasons for the need to be right; from "getting my own way', to the much more satisfying goal of connecting with people. Gandhi said 'become the change you want to see in the world'. It seems to me that if we as individuals commit to relearning the toxic ways that we have been taught to communicate with each other, the conflicts on a global scale will seem less imposing. Thanks, Sandy, for sharing this book with me, and for the many hours you and I have spent discussing its wisdom. I’ve since brought it home, where it has helped my wife and me communicate on a much deeper level."
Huntington, New York